Before Everything Changed

I never told you
All the things I wish you knew
But you hid things from me too
The guilt of secrecy fell on me.

I never showed you
The things of my past that are dark
The things I did to myself to mark
Things I wanted to forget...

I never told you
All the ways I say "I love you"
Did you have these feelings too?
I'm sorry.

I never showed you
All the things I wanted to  do
When I was alone with you
Did you want those things too?

I never told you
All the reasons why I loved you
I suppose I never asked you
Why did you choose me?

I never showed you
When I said goodnight
I was afraid of starting a fight
I never wanted to fight.

I never told you
How I wanted you to sleep
And I wanted you mine to keep
Do you sleep better now?

I never showed you
The way I wanted to sing
And the happiness I hoped to bring
I failed.

I never told you
How you just made me happy
And helped me escape from everything crappy
Did I help you?

I never showed you
That I was ever scared
Because of how much you cared
You worry me.

I never told you
How much you mean to me
And now you've set yourself free
Was it my fault?

I never showed you
How loyal I was to you
I put my trust in you too
Why am I still loyal to you?

I never told you,
I never showed you,
I'm sorry.
I'm scared.

(of you)